When most people make their New Year’s Resolutions, they seldom follow through. Usually, individuals put resolutions out there to jump on the bandwagon or just do not take it seriously. I decided to actually take it seriously for once this year by establishing two realistic commitments. I put myself out on a limb by saying that I get my health into a manageable place and that I would write one blog post every week.
Surprisingly, eight months later, I continue to work towards these goals. My health became a primary focus again after a horrible fibromyalgia flare up. I did not have much of a choice. I had to get it back under control, or else I would continue to suffer. There has been some improvement with it since leaving my job and making some medication changes.
Whereas my health felt forced into the foreground, writing could have easily slipped into the background. For a number of reasons, my writing always went on the back burner. Throughout high school and college, the last thing I ever wanted to do was write. I did enough of it for tests and essays. I would rather be outside playing basketball, working on a project, or playing video games than writing for fun. Even though I enjoyed writing to an extent, I often prioritized other responsibilities ahead of it like socializing and relaxing.
The closest I got to consistent writing was poetry. I wrote short poems reflecting my innermost thoughts and feelings. I did so through metaphors and a free form structure. Mistakenly, I only wrote when I was down and out. I guess it was my artist mentality at the time. Even my desire to write poetry fell apart after a while.
When the idea of blogging popped up, I sat on it. I talked to my therapist about it. I spoke to a few colleagues to get their thoughts on it. I built myself up to it. I figured the blog could serve a similar purpose as my poetry did a few years prior. It would be a platform for me to express my innermost thoughts and feelings on topics that mattered to me. Furthermore, if my posts helped one person along the way, my job was complete.
I kept up with this site regularly in the beginning. Sometimes I put two or three posts up in a week. A few months in, I hit writer’s block. The posts gradually slowed. I went from pumping out three a week to once a week. Then, it from once a week to once every other week. A few weeks went by. Inspiration was nowhere to be found.
At this point though, I felt the difference writing had on my well-being. I knew that if I wanted to continue feeling the benefits that I must continue. That was when I had the idea for the New Year’s Resolution post back in January. It held me accountable. It was in writing, and it was in the open for others to see.
Every week since then, I post at least once a week. Even if I feel like my writing is shitty or I feel off, I put something out. I literally channel my inner Shia LaBeouf and, “Just do it.”
At this point, posting on this site is second nature. It became part of my weekly routine. It serves as a reminder that we sometimes need to push through the negativity even if it means going through the motions. It ultimately benefits your well-being and possibly those around you. You do not have to be at your absolute best all the time. Sometimes dragging yourself across the finish line is fine, because, hey, you made it.
-The Caring Counselor