Dad, I miss you. I don’t know why, but this holiday season seems to be hitting harder than last. I mean, I think I know why, but my heart hurts more so.
I definitely felt it more after attending your brother’s memorial service. RIP Uncle Sam. Our family came together and showed their unconditional love to one another. Most of them didn’t even recognize me. To be fair, they hadn’t seen me since George W. Bush’s first term. Although few mentioned you, I felt it in the atmosphere. You were with your brother again.
On top of that, I have my own family now after being catapulted into a father figure role for my girlfriend’s two children. As I adjust to the role, I keep thinking back to what you did for me. In thinking about what you did right, I guess part of me reflected on your flaws too. Honestly, it is not how I want to remember you by any means. Nobody is perfect, but when it came to being a father, you did that part right. You always took care of me and followed through on your responsibilities. You get credit for that.
I guess the combination of your brother’s recent passing, the holiday season, and seeing fatherhood from your perspective brought his memory back to the limelight. In a way, it rekindled the grieving process. Time to follow his advice. Take it easy. One step at a time. Celebrate that person’s life. That’s just what I’ll do.
-The Caring Counselor